Hair Cuts for Real Men with Real Hair in NYC

Some exciting news from my friends in NYC. Two friends of mine from school have started a high-end barber shop in mid-town. Since business school they have been slaving away, working for the man, at HBO and IBM, while on the side they had been planning their escape to a better way of life...a life as a business owner.

So, after two years of hard work and extensive planning, they are opening Truman's. Truman's is a metro-sexual's wet dream, complete with pedicures, hair (body) waxing, and massages. The next time you're in Manhatten, check it out. If I wasn't bald, I would be there for the Grand Opening this week.

Hutchinson for US Senator of Maryland

My uncle is running for US Senator from the fine state of Maryland. More on this later, but here's his platform.

A Few Good SalesMen

I received this classic "A Few Good Men" spoof from a friend of mine at work, Bill Lan. I wish I could take credit for the genius contained below, or at least give credit where credit is due. Enjoy!

Sales: "You want answers?"

Finance: "I think we are entitled to them!"

Sales: "You want answers?!"

Finance: "I want the truth!"

Sales: "You can't handle the truth!!!"

Sales (continuing): "Sir , we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who's going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at the sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings ... you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call!

We use words like comps, migration, discounts, flex licensing. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "I did the job I was hired to do."

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "You're goddamn right I did!"

Patriot's Day

So I knew I had arrived in Boston on Patriot's Day, the day of the Boston Marathon, when, after checking into my hotel, I ran across the street to grab some food and there was a gal sitting on the curb swaying back and forth with various stains from various beverages on her blouse.

She was complete with a worn-in Red Sox hat above her plump face. On my way back out of the store, she's still there, cross-eyed, sitting on the curb, so I ask her if she needs some help, if she's ok.

She says yes...I think so. I say, so are you a bit drunk? She says yes. So I ask again, can I help you at all? I notice she has the key to her VW something-or-other in her hand and I let her know it's not a good idea to drive tonight. Again, can I help you? She says...just help me up, please. So I help her up just as a Boston cop drives up. He gets out of his car, looks me over and watches her stumble away, shruggs his sholders....Patriot's Day.

Trader Joe's Top Ten List

My family shops almost exclusively at Trader Joe's. We love it. A friend of mine, Dean Johnson, told me that TJs recently released their top ten list of most popular items, by items sold.

1. Charles Shaw Wines
2. Mandarin Orange Chicken
3. Nuts About Antioxidants Trek Mix
4. Lite Shredded 3 Cheese Blend
5. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
6. Trader Darwin's High Potency Chewable Multiple Vitamin & Mineral Formula Dietary Supplements
7. Crumbled Gorgonzola Cheese
8. Dark Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans
9. Trader Giotto's Pizza Formaggi (Four Cheese Pizza)
10. Cheese & Green Chili Tamales

In looking at the list, the 2 Buck Chuck at doesn't surprise me at #1, and the Orange Chicken isn't terribly suprising, even though we have only sampled it once. But I must say that positions 3 - 10 are shocking. Crumbled Gorgonzola Cheese? Antioxidants Trek Mix? How did my beloved 4 Cheese Pizza drop to #9? How did Shreaded Spoonfulls miss the list? How is it possible for the Fruit Leather to miss the list?

These questions will keep me awake for weeks. Frozen waffles? Milk?....

I Pinch and the Internet

My friend, Mike, told about the Honda Element "Crab Ad." It's a funny one. My son, Nick, and I play the "I pinch" game now. Little pinch?

Also, if you have a free 5 minutes, check out this skit by Dave Chapelle - if the internet was a place you could go. EXTREMELY FUNNY!

KroBlog Delivers Information You Can't Live Without!

On Wednesday this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. This will never, ever happen again.