Sometimes It’s OK to Cry

There are a whole host of movies out there that are real tear jerkers: Terms of Endearment, Fried Green Tomatoes, and Beaches just to name a few.

But, as a man, if you’re caught weeping, or even admit to crying during one of those movies, you’ll never live it down. Friendships have been lost over such confessions. Wives have sighted such disclosures as the beginning of the end when talking about the ultimate demise of marital bliss.

Nonetheless, there are movies that, as a man, it’s OK to shed a tear or two. I just got done watching Hoosiers for perhaps the 10th or 22nd time. Other than the “grossest-on-screen-kiss-ever” between Gene Hackman and Barbara Hershey, this movie is flawless, and offers up at least three separate occasions for even real men to well up.

1. The scene when Shooter’s (Dennis Hopper) son comes to visit him in the hospital while Shooter is trying to sober up and the son tells Shooter how proud he is of him and that he loves him. As a dad, you really do fight back the tears during this exchange.

2. During the pep-talk before the State Championships, is a real whopper and offers up at least two opportunities for the river to start flowing. The obvious times are when the Coach (Gene Hackman) tells the team that he loves them and then at the end of the prayer when the Preacher quotes the First Testament comparing the Hickory Huskers to David (as in David and Goliath).

3. The end of the State Finals when the Huskers win it with a last second shot by Jimmy Chitwood. I am almost welling-up just thinking about it.

The other movie that it’s OK for real men to cry is Saving Private Ryan. No real secret here. This is one the all time great movies. My friend Andy readily admits to blubbering at the end when the older Private James Patrick Ryan asks his wife if he’s been a good man, if he’s led a good life. That scene gets to me too.

Oh, but that’s not all with Saving Private Ryan: the scene when the Tom Hanks’ character gets shot, the scene when Vin Diesel’s character gets shot by the sniper and Vin is trying to give his bloodied goodbye letter written to his mom to Adam Goldberg's character, and then again when Adam Goldberg’s character is stabbed by that Nazi bastard on the second floor of that hotel towards the end of the movie. Hard to watch for certain, but there’s no shame in shedding a tear – don’t be ashamed to admit it to anyone.

There are other movies when it’s OK to cry, to be certain, but I can’t admit to too many in one entry in fear of losing my man-card privileges.